Self-Ordained

                                                     

 

Several years ago, having discerned that following a traditional path to ordination as a Christian minister wasn't my path, I began to visualize a sanctuary space I wanted to create. I thought it would be a retail space where I would teach art classes, do energetic balancing, hold circle dances and sacred interfaith rituals, and create community while earning a living.

I busied myself finding a space and signing a lease for it (all with the avid resistance of Mr. Friendly, my spouse, who rarely supports new ventures of mine if they involve spending money). At that point, I did not have the state license I needed to do hands-on work with people. One way to satisfy that need was to apply online for ordination through the Universal Life Church, as ministers can do "laying on of hands." Reluctantly, I did this, but told no one, a part of me still desiring the approval of some organized, recognized entity like "the church" to sanctify my calling.

The lease for the space didn't work out, so I revisited my plan, thinking that road-blocks are Universal Guides to which I should pay attention (interestingly, I hadn't considered Mr. Friendly's resistance a road-block-this is a hint).

I have experienced, that when I am in Universal Flow, the way is clear and unobstructed.

So, I entered and graduated from massage school. This gave me the license I needed to do hands-on bodywork with people. As I prepared to take the state examination for my license, I began, again, to look for spaces near my home in which to establish the sanctuary I had been visualizing. For days, I'd driven round in circles, visited with business owners and landlords, and felt an uneasiness growing in my gut. I had no clientele and I had only a small financial seed, so signing a lease would have been risky at best. But I could SEE the space. I knew what I wanted.

After a few days of searching, out of the blue, I received a phone call from a dear friend. "By any chance, are you looking for a space?" she asked. I almost dropped the phone. She'd been called to a visioning ministry for a mission nearby and they were looking to share space with like-minded individuals. All I had to do was go get the key and agree to donate for the space as I could. Wow.

My practice grew, but slowly. The mission grew very little. Now they are relinquishing the space, and last week, I moved out of that space. I've been wondering how I will attract clients now. Wondering what this means?

I've decided that it just means not there. Not now. It means I have to trust the process again. It means there is more happening than I can see. I began to visualize people handing me one-hundred dollar bills as a practice of manifesting Abundant Supply, visualizing what I want to come into my experience, as I do need income.

Ask and you will receive (even if you don't know how).

So I cleared out my studio space at home and brought my practice home. Mr. Friendly and I are learning to share space in a more profound way than we have in thirty years.

A few days ago, another therapist I'd met two years ago who remembered me, called. I hadn't spoken to her since we met. She is moving out of state and needs a therapist to whom she can recommend her small clientele and wondered if I'd be interested.

Wow!

She came to my studio yesterday to experience my work. She felt well as she left and I think she'll refer to me. Who knows what will happen? Choosing a therapist is a very personal thing. And what about the sanctuary I've been visualizing?

One of the things that passed through my hands during the process of packing, unpacking, relinquishing, and clearing over the passed few weeks is a poem my mother wrote to me when I first opened Moon Shadow Sanctuary in the space I just lost. I thought then that the piece was about that place.

Now, the poem sits on the altar here in my very own studio, a place I've had all along. But now I read the poem much differently. Now I do not read it to be about a place I had to find. It is not about place at all. Instead, I read it to be about living in the sanctuary of Spirit, the sanctuary of knowing that the Universe brings me all that I need in perfect timing. The sanctuary of knowing that the Universe answers the "prayers of my heart" and that even when I don't understand what I'm asking for, or know the healing I need, Omniscience does know and Spirit heals. The sanctuary of knowing that I am co-creating my world (be careful what you think) and that what I visualize, does materialize, always shape-shifted by Spirit to serve the Highest Good.

Here am I
Just as I was dreamed
So lovely
A quiet place
A place to be still and know
A place to Be
The Real Me of You.

Only You are needed
To call forth my Spirit
From my window
To inherit the
Shade of my Tree.

In silence
Come unto me

Beth Ellis Grimes, '07